Level 99

It’s Wiiner Time There. We got it out of our systems. On to...

Fri, 05 May 2006 00:00:00 -0400

It’s Wiiner Time

There. We got it out of our systems. On to other things….

The chat section of the site is up and running, in case you missed Race’s post. God, I can’t wait until I’m doing this in my own room on my own computer. Sigh.

So the special time that occurs from the end of April through the beginning of May is upon us. I call it “January 2.” Yay, e3. Well, it’s true. Business is slow and news is slothful. That means slow.

I suppose that means this is a good time for my computer to go ape shit on me. It started with a new hard drive and each piece thereafter needed to be replaced in subsequent order. New harddrive with SATA meant a new motherboard. New motherboard came with a new processor and also meant I needed new memory. I replaced my dvd-rom with a burner a couple of months ago. As I’m putting all of this together, it was apparent that no matter how hard I pushed, my AGP video cards would not fit in a PCIE slot. So that meant a new video card. I got the video card right quick and tried everything together. Oh, but Windows install gave me a blue screen… with two difference copies (for those of you keeping track, that means this comp has received the honor of a blue screen in normal operation, no operation, in safe mode, and now before the install even starts). A good friend of mine and ex-boss got his hands on it and managed to get Windows installed and running. He even installed all of the drivers I needed, but he suggested I replace the power supply (and the case, while I was at it). For those of you still keeping track, those are the only two parts of the computer that haven’t been replaced now.

I get it home. I power it up. Windows loads. I see a green field and a blue sky. The intro music begins playing. The intro music cuts off. The screen goes black. The power cuts off. The computer refuses to power on again. Looks like I’m replacing the power supply sooner than I expected. Meh. At least then I’ll have a completely brand new computer. And maybe then January 2 will be over. Hopefully.

Anyway….

-Arlo

Oblivion Danger #452 The possible pitfalls of a fantasy world...

Mon, 01 May 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Oblivion Danger #452

The possible pitfalls of a fantasy world are partly enumerated here. Watch out. Those enormice will kick your ass. And take your clothes.

My computer kicked the bucket again recently. This is something like the tenth time and I figured perchance I should take this opportuniy to overhaul. I bought a new motherboard, processor, and RAM, and blew my tax return. This in addition to the 500 GingerBread hard drive I also purchased. I installed everything, failing to notice that all of my video cards are AGP while the motherboard only supports PCI. So, my computer lost it’s sight but gained a stronger heart, brain, short-term memory, and long-term memory. It’s like the Daredevil of Computers, except that it’s not. And I’m pretty sure that the videocard-equals-sight metaphor doesn’t really work. But that’s okay. Give me two days… and a big heap of Troll help.

And thanks to UltraMagnus for his advice.

So our e3 passes fell through this year… it seems that the more elligible I become, the harder it is to get in. This year, I’ve been promoted twice since last year, work more hours, and co-run a webcomic about the culture and they won’t let me in. Not even my “unofficial” channels that got me in my first year pulled through. But don’t worry (because I know how you get). Hope is not yet dead.

Three days until retirement… Beat Oblivion the other day. Well,...

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Three days until retirement…

Beat Oblivion the other day. Well, at least the main storyline. Now, I only have to beat the Fighter’s Guild and Mage’s Guild to get all 1,000 achievement points. Rock on. However, I’m belayed by other endeavors. This game is so much fun. It’s my cathartic Spider-Man 2 for the 360. Every trick feels so right and the images are a sight to behold. Yeah, it’s a 7.5, but who gives a shit?

So, Race went to bed a little earlier than usual tonight. And while the cat’s away, the mouse will fall over himself just coming out of his hole. Race. Please. Never let me do anything. It took me an hour and a half just to get the new strip to even show up. Apparently, everything hates me, because I couldn’t even host it somewhere else, like imageshack or photobucket. Race has gone to bed early before, as is her right, for work is teh suck, but for some reason this mouse just kept tripping on his own tail. The solution turned out to be a convoluted one. For some reason… the image was so abhorrent to any program or website as a jpeg that it could only be viewed as a png. Troll/Bosh figured that out by chance.

This is the conversation that followed.

Oddly enough, capturing that screenshot, editing it, hosting it, and making it show up here took ten minutes at the most. Of course.

God, I’m so tired after that ordeal (I mean, talking to Troll, not working on the strip) that my grammar has just gone downhill and I’m being ever so careful while writing this. If you find an error, fuck you. That’s right. Not me; You.

Oh yeah, there’s a new webcam link at the top of the page if you haven’t noticed. If we have our auto uploading on, you might even be able to catch us working on the strip. I seriously can’t wait until we move the site to its home, but I’ve been so busy lately. Priority Two. Behind getting my PC up and running again,

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part XI Holy crap, it’s over…. It’s…...

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part XI

Holy crap, it’s over…. It’s… finally over.

::wipes brow:: Phew. Man. Well, that was a hoot. And in honor of the conclusion of our first major story arch, and as promised, I have prepared a Special Limited Collector’s Edition of Superhappymechafuntime XI. There is a special foil cover and alternate endings. Even a deleted scene. Man, if this special edition malarky wasn’t so tongue in cheek, it’d be pretty cool. Scratch that. It is cool.

This also means I have no time to make a more detailed post. I HAVE to talk about Big O.

-Arlo

Hurray, fanart! We are now back to our regularly scheduled...

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Hurray, fanart!

We are now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Did you miss me? I know I did. =P Cuz I rock the sauce.

Don’t worry, I won’t discuss the mundane details of my own life this time. It’s strictly Level 99 business today. WadeWilson, a.k.a. Mike, a.k.a. Guy-With-More-Posts-Than-the-Admins, has sent us some fanart! Mind you, these are the first pieces of fanart we’ve ever received, and sure enough, we jizzed our pants with excitement. You like us, you really really like us!!! So here they are!

One documents my Oblivion obsession.

And one chronicles one of my posts in the Special Features forum (where you have to be a member to view), where I posted pictures of myself in a big, furry, Communist hat. (The “real” me, not the cartoon me.) Hurray for inside jokes! =P

So thank you, wadewilson! You have a special place in our internet hearts. If you want a place in one of our other organs too, you can show your love by voting for us once a day over at TopWebcomics! Either that, or you can bake us cookies. Because we <3 cookies!

~Race

Superhappymechafuntime: Part X So wait… Isn’t this, like,...

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part X

So wait… Isn’t this, like, cheating or something? The ending is so close I can taste it. It tastes a bit salty. Oh, and a big shout out to Chris “Clucky” K. I probably didn’t get this up in time for you to see it before you went to bed. Too bad. A drunk Chris is an assured laugh. Maybe a sleepy Chris is one, too… Hmm….

I’m playing Tomb Raider as I type this (I grew two more arms last night. You didn’t hear?). I’m surprised I’ve lasted as long as I have. They cleaned up the control scheme, made the platforming much more intuitive, and slopped a fat layer of clean all over it. I’m actually having fun in a Tomb Raider game. Huh. I don’t think I’ve ever had fun in a Tomb Raider game… Don’t get me wrong — I’m not neccessarily suggesting a buy, but it is definitely worth a passing glance. At the rate I’m plowing through it, I bet you could beat it with one rental. But damn if the graphics aren’t hit and miss. Sometimes I think, “Wow, this game actually looks next gen,” while others I just want to jab myself in the eye with a spork. Mainly, I feel that last one when I look at the skin textures and character model creases. I’d give it an 8. Looks like they hit the nail on the head with this one, in terms of gameplay.

A side note: Writing “pussy” and being so analytical in it’s position and rotation, it lost all meaning, derogatory or otherwise. It didn’t look like it was spelled correctly. I find that happens to me often. When I look at mundane words for too long, they just don’t look right. Except this time, the mundane word is “pussy.”

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part IX (Interlude) Hello, Naive...

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part IX (Interlude)

Hello, Naive Believers.

Well, since this past day was a holiday and all, we here at Level 99 decided to take a breather. But so as not to disappoint, I figured I’d take this opportunity to show to you why I (Arlo) should never be allowed to do this comic on my own.

To give you a little perspective, Race’s one-off solo strip can be found here, if you are a forum member. ::shakes head:: So much more talent.

Never leave me. I need you, Race. But, oh, wait, not in that way.

So this is what happens when you leave me to my own devices. I’ve wanted to do a couple of single panel strips for a while now and this is a VERY early idea I presented to Race to let her know what I was talking about. Thank the Lord you are seeing this now instead of as a full-fledged comic. Superhappymechafuntime only has a couple of strips to go before its conclusion, at which point I plan to release a Platinum Collector’s Edition of the final installment with special features of some sort in honor of the completion of our first major story arch. You don’t believe me?! Just you wait.

I’m spending the night over at Lou’s place tonight so I’d better get going. We are hitting up Nickel Nickel tomorrow. Race will possibly be joining us. We’ll see. I will make a fool of myself on DDR and Lou’s little brother will show me up.

Expect another, “fuller” post tomorrow or the next day. Expect a new strip on Friday as scheduled.

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VIII What is this? The gauntlet was...

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VIII

What is this? The gauntlet was just thrown down. I’ll tell you now, I’m no good at that game. Race kicks bootay. Troll…. well, Troll doesn’t move much.

So I was driving to my mom’s work to help her with her printer and I was thinking that certain words just don’t get the reverence they deserve anymore. For instance: Supermarket. “I’m going to drive to the supermarket and get some eggs. Maybe one of those tiny half-dozen containers this time.” How can you say that? In passing?! That shit is super! Give it some respect. “I’m going to drive to the SUPER(!) market, where any number of wonderful amazements and oddities may be found along with those necessities that its majesty deems to provide to us in all its glory, and get some eggs. Maybe those tiny half-dozen containers this time. Those are wicked sweet.” That’s better.

And Marshmallow! … Ok, that one is just weird.

I took a break from Oblivion tonight to watch some Full Metal Panic? FUMOFFU. It’s an interesting departure from the regular tone of the series and is the peanut butter to Excel Saga’s jelly. It manages to make fun of almost every convention of modern anime and still remain compelling in its source material. Check it out. But maybe check out the original first, otherwise, you’ll be way lost.

Today, the assistant manager from my neighbor store phoned me up just to call me out on my xbox affinity. It was odd. I held my own in objectivity, not fan-boy-ism. And that was the whole conversation. That was it. He said he looked forward to further banter. It was fun, actually… but very random — kinda like the flow of this post.

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VII So we’re killing people and...

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VII

So we’re killing people and that’s good. Troll said this is what the arc needed. I didn’t tell him we had his presence planned like a month ago.

I was out for a few days in Sonora with family and had some fun. Shout out to Kevin and Kyle who got the url Sunday morning. Now do you understand why I told you not to show your parents? Tell your friends.

Anyway, the point of that Sonora reference is that on the ride up and back, I was in a massive truck with my cousin, her dad, and her boyfriend. We were listening to Sirius Satellite Radio. Now, I have this problem… I have a severe case of Stickupmyassaholism. Please dont tease me. It’s a disease and should be pitied. I have this thing where I decide I want something with no research and no “Sleeping On It” and I must have it today. I did that with DVR and was rewarded. I did that with the PSP about a month or two ago and haven’t touched it in maybe two weeks. I’ve become increasing disengaged from FM radio and have relagated myself to the solitude of my iPod and Mix”Tape” CDs. Three comedy channels are good. Plus, I’m wicked excited about the prospect of getting old and having a 90s oldies station; I won’t have to wait as Sirius has fully two 90’s channels, one of which is dedicated to rock. Holy Jeez. So I’ve decided on Sirius over XM, obviously, but what I want to know is if you have any recommendations as to the reciever based on quality and price or if I’m even headed down the right path at all. I’m looking at this. Not too expensive and it’s versatile. I don’t want to have to buy a whole new cd player, either. ::sigh:: This stick up my ass isn’t getting any more comfortable (no gay jokes, please) and I might just have to deal with it… ya know, by pulling it out.

Plus, I got a tape from my Grandma Mom that we recorded when I was twelve. I do some reading on it and some really bad impressions of a generic six-year-old and a grandmother, too. Man, I was set up to be an English major from an early age. That, and I’m so fucking adorable. WAS. WAS so fucking adorable. Yeah… that’s it…

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VI The chaos begins!!! I don’t know...

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part VI

The chaos begins!!! I don’t know why, for sure, but I’m kinda proud of this one. Like it’s the one kid that hasn’t been arrested or something. Yeah, those others are bad ass (especially the one that got you the “discount” dvd player for Father’s Day), but this one went to college and everything. Don’t ask me why I feel that way. I can’t describe it and you won’t know what I’m talking about until you have kids of your own… or a webcomic.

FInally finished the Dark Brotherhood a couple of days ago. Way cooler story line than the Thieves’ Guild. I can’t stress that enough. The Thieves Guild never gave me a horse named, like, McStealstuff.

I’m going to Sonora this weekend for a family reunion so maybe I’ll come up with more original ideas. As it stands there is stuff out there that you guys have never seen. And some of it is made by me.

But on to things made by Race. Dr. McNinja (probably one of my top 3 or so webcomics now that my other-webcomicking-half introduced me to it) posted an image of this work of art for which Race has this uncanny knack. That’s right. Etch-a-Drawing. I’d use the real name, but I don’t want to get sued. You can not believe the cool stuff she can do with these things. I was seriously heartbroken when I found out that she couldn’t find any more. This paragraph is like a double-edged katana — I get to show off the talent of my partner and direct you to things that you need to see.

MORE NEWS FLASHES! OK, JUST ONE!

The special features section of the forums has been opened in honor of wadewilson hitting Level 5 Bumbling Squire! And in honor of us going red at onlinecomics.net in addition to getting over 100 fans there! AND in honor of over 10,000 hits! Be there or be square. It was going to only be opened for those displaying participation in the forums, but in a rash decision made but 30 seconds ago in an IM, Race and I decided to open it up to only one elite group comprised of just you! … but only if you’re registered. HAHA! The section will be updated as we find more content. I have a feeling about that “more content” appearing at the end of this story arch.

/news

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part V The saga continues… to disturb!...

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 00:00:00 -0400

Superhappymechafuntime: Part V

The saga continues… to disturb! Once again, the theory that any noun can be enhanced in humor tenfold by adding the suffix “-age” is put to the test — and it passes!

I am so glad we are doing this story line because I can’t think good right now. Oblivion isn’t so much the greatest game ever, as it is all comsuming. For instance, Tarbosh, Lord of the Four Moons, Destroyer of Worlds, and Bringer of Chaos® may consume all sentient life in his path, but he’s maybe, like, the forth coolest God — just beating out Geoff, God of Biscuits.

Troll just created his character. He doesn’t really have any interest in a game like this. He just wants to punch people really hard… in the face. So he created a character called “Markistehsuck” and a class called “Defacerizer.” He needed me to spell it.

When this story line is over, you can be guaranteed that Race and I will be compelled to make a strip about it. Await your doom with pee soaked britches. Good Lord, what is wrong with me…

-Arlo

P.S. Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention the supermegaimportant news. We registered our new domain over the weekend. You can now change your bookmark to level99comic.com. Right now, it’s just redirecting you here, but when we do make the switch, you’ll be ahead of the game. Exciting things will unfold now that we have a new domain. Exciting things. You should probably just wear a diaper at all times. I know I do.

Superhappymechafuntime: Part IV This edition of the...

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Superhappymechafuntime: Part IV

This edition of the Superhappymechafuntime may not be as proposterous as you may imagine. A couple of years ago, I went to the Anime Expo here in Anaheim and stumbled upon this panel. I didn’t really know what to make of it. On one hand, it was quite fascinating, discussing the prospect of building a real mech and how it could be implemented, but on the other hand, I couldn’t help but think that they were just a bunch of geeks who lived together in their hippie commune hangar, living off a diet composed of Maruchan and 80th generation VHS copies of Voltes 5. I shouldn’t be so closed-minded, though…I bet they thought Leonardo DaVinci was a giant nutjob when he drew plans for his spinny, flyingy thing.

I never thought I would get into it, but I found myself skirting aside my responsibilities to the comic yesterday to play Oblivion. (Bad Race, bad!) I know, I know, I’m awful. To make it worse, while I was working on it, I went to go lie down a little (without an intention of sleeping) and just konked out. Poor Arlo had to stay up waiting for me while playing Oblivion. Anyway, it’s a great game. The attention to detail is palpable, and after a few tweaks (thanks Blaine!), my mountains don’t look like shit anymore. I haven’t been really paying attention to the main quest, though. I just joined the thieves guild and have been punching everything…except for deer, they’re super fast. My hand-to-hand still sucks, but meh…punching things is fun. (Meatslappers!)

Dognabbit, I want Maruchan now.

~Race

Sailor Uranus? Butt Pirates? Get it?

What’s this? Where is this going? You’re ending the strip on a cliffhanger?! More butt sex jokes? I have to wait three whole days for the next installment? Quitcherbitchin’. I can’t wait, either. ::rubs ego::

So no sleep tonight. We got the strip up even later today. I don’t like this trend. No, wait…. I do. I like it because the reason we got it up late is because we were both, on our own, lost in Oblivion. You should see my avatar. He kicks ass. It took me a week, 100 saves, and 24 hours to get through the Thieves Guild chain of quests by work on Tuesday. So very cool. The ending of the quest line is pretty nice, what with the rewards and stature and all. Which leads me to the Dark Brotherhood quests. While I was on a certain later quest for the Gray Fox, I ended up killing a very dangerous vampire before he even saw me (I found out he was a vampire the hard way… up to 200 saves, people…). Killing an NPC without being provoked is, technically, killing an innocent person, for which the Dark Brotherhood visited me in my sleep. These quests are seriously the coolest in the game I’ve so far encountered (including the main story line). To this point, I’ve faked a murder, switched medicine with poison and never met my victim, and participated in an And The There Were None party (as the done-it!). It’s like a fantasy, expansive-world Hitman. I am so thankful, though, for going through the Thieves Guild quests first, as the l00t and skillz I earned there greatly helped me here. So satisfied. I’m sorry, Suikoden V. You’re gonna have to wait.

Two more things before I go…

1) Naruto. This one guy came into work yesterday to pick up a copy of Kingdom Hearts 2. Sigh. I want to know this boy. He has to be at least 17 or 18 and is definitely over 6 feet tall. He comes in every time with his grandmother… and decked out in the Naruto headband and gloves. I love these people. Yeah, I wear clothes with the logos and names of the games and shows I love…. but I don’t have to invent reasons to wear items of clothing that I would not otherwise. There are, however, expections. This is hot*. He was not. You already have the headband and gloves and 6-foot-plus thing imagined, right? I have seen him three times in the last month and he has worn the same thing each time. Literally. Same thing. Down to the last stitch. That would be interesting, maybe, but what he always wears makes it in-freakin’-credible. Throw this in your mental etch-a-sketch: a plain blue shirt, a zippered sweater/jacket, and blue sweatpants. Sweatpants. I can understand going outside in sweatpants. I’ve done it. But 100% of the time I’ve seen this guy, he’s been out and about in sweatpants. Even that wouldn’t have been so bad, but here’s the kicker: he was wearing Uggs (get it? kicker?). I’m so confused. Sigh. Let me into your world, young man. And if you are reading this, please don’t take offense. I respect you, in a weird way.

*you’re kinda cute, too, Race.

2) Support. I want to take this time to mention those webcomickery peers that have supported us so far in our venture. If you’ve been to onlinecomics.net, you’ve noticed that we’ve gone red. It’s Ice Cream time. Plus, if you sort the gamer comics by popularity, we’re on top… right above vgcats. w00t. Here’s to those that have corresponded with us in some way. If you are reading this and we haven’t responded lately, it’s because of this no sleep thing.

–Coin-Op was the first comic to link to us. You have a special place in our hearts.

–T3h 1337 5t1x befriended us randomly over at myspace and I really wanna show him some support. Plus, T3h annoys Race.

–Aaron at newgirl is another one of those who found us instead of the other way around and I want to take the opportunity to give him a shoutout. He’s a beginning webcomicker, as well, and I’d like to show him the support that we all need.

–Wes over at Sunday at Ten shot me a personal e-mail requesting link-stuffs so he could tell his readers about us. Plus, he said, essentially, “Yeah, the art may be cool, but the writing kicks way more ass and Race sucks.” Well, maybe he didn’t say that, but sometimes it’s nice to read your own words. It leads to much less confusion. Great duo over at that comic.

Wow, I need to go to bed. And Race needs to go to work. HAHA!

-Arlo

Superhappymechafuntime: Part III I am so freaking proud of us....

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Superhappymechafuntime: Part III

I am so freaking proud of us. This is the most bepanelled strip we’ve had so far. And I think it’s the latest we’ve gotten a strip up. Another reason I’m so proud. Our latest is still before most people (at least here on the west coast, where it’s 5:30am) are even up to check out the site. We are way better than those sometimes more popular sites that don’t even end up posting on the right day. I pine for the days when the world can make an entire revolution more than projected and people still keep coming back. But pines are pointy things and they stick you — stick you with the stabbiness that is retarded hopes. Truth be told, I never want to lie to you. You’re my friend. My… best… friend…. ::sobs::

Ok, big hand for Race on this one, guys. She slept all freaking day because she was plagued by… um… I don’t know, syphilis or something, and still managed to pull one out. Ew, ok, that’s gross. I should say she was very sick and went on to create that most bepanelled strip you see today. This epic is a whopper and we haven’t even gotten to our first destination yet! But it will come.

Oh, yes… it will be your doom. DOOM!

I really should get some sleep. I’m seeing things here.

Ooh, shiny!

-Arlo

P.S. I totally made up “bepanelled.” That is like the tenth word we’ve made up for this comic. We’re the William Shakespeare of webcomics. Except with less venereal diseases. Just barely.

Superhappymechafuntime: Part II

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Superhappymechafuntime: Part II

Superhappymechafuntime: Part I I told you we are moving on to...

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Superhappymechafuntime: Part I

I told you we are moving on to bigger and better things. It starts.

BIG NEWS! We were planning on registering a new permanent domain quite soon and are asking for your input!
We have some options set up in a poll in our forums. Go there now (register first – quick and easy!) and vote. Just click on the FORUMS link at the top and look in the Rules and Announcements category. Or just click on that link I put earlier.

The Special Features section is getting bigger and better. It will be open soon. Will you be granted access? Do good and perhaps we will look upon your works with satisfaction and incur upon you our blessing. I feel like a religion. Cool!

Don’t forget to click on the links in Race’s last post to vote for us.

Elder Scrolls comes out in two days. That is all.

-Arlo

Night of the (Hardly) Living Ngyaarr BEGIN ANNOUNCEMENT We have...

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Night of the (Hardly) Living Ngyaarr

BEGIN ANNOUNCEMENT

We have a new forum category about announcements and the like. Go there now and read up. It discusses our new locked Special Features forum that we are starting soon and filling with extra content for those that are helpful… or do something for us… Hmmmm…

Plus, we added a new emoticon to our lexicon. Hehe.
Try typing <.< or >.> in your post to see the new shifty-eyes smiley.

If you haven’t already, take this chance to sign up for the forums by clicking on the FORUMS link under the banner at the top of the page. It’s quick and easy.

END ANNOUNCEMENT

Sometimes… people just can’t let go. I don’t know about you, but I think this is going somewhere. What do you think? Well, you’re going to have to wait, if it does. We’re done with Ngyaarr for a little while longer; we just wanted to get this out of the way before we moved on to bigger and better things. BIGGER is the key word there. You have no idear.

So Troll and I tried out Black today. I had been protesting this, not because I thought it’d be bad, but because I always had something better to do… like crochet… or checking each piece of clothing in my dresser to see if they still smelled okay… or penile piercing for fun and profit. I thought it would just be CRASH BANG BOOM for a bit and then lather, rinse, repeat for the next 5 or so hours. With that original idea, I’ll say this: I was underwhelmed by the actual product. It has some good ragdoll physics (and that’s saying something because I generally hate ragdoll physics), and they do this cool blur/focus effect when you are reloading your gun, but after the first 4 or so times, it becomes more of a hindrance than a neat feature. And the AI? Oh, the AI! Troll tried to throw a grenade in the middle of a camp of mercenaries and failed (because there is no way to cook the grenade or hold the button down to get extra distance[!]). The grenade went off just outside the camp – and by “just,” I mean three feet, and by “camp,” I mean four guys just kinda standing around a campfire – and the guys… just… stood there. As if nothing even happened. Even the destructible environments were nothing compared to Red Faction, which came out five years ago. The long and short of it is this: Black was Fable-ized. They just couldn’t shut up about the destruction. If they came out saying, “Hey, we got ourselves an FPS!” we might have said, “Eh, it’s alright, but blowing stuff up is pretty cool. Ooh, look how that headstone blew apart!” But, no. Troll didn’t even play it more than half an hour. This is the same guy who played the high jump in FlatOut for days. DAYS! Totally true. Now we’re playing The Super Spy for MAME and I’m more impressed by the innovation.

Seriously, this Super Spy game is awesome.

Petrificus! Race assures me that chicks dig yaoi. Yeah. I’m not...

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Petrificus!

Race assures me that chicks dig yaoi. Yeah. I’m not so sure.

I finally got my PSP all hooked up only to find that all of my LucasArts games are in French. And now my iPod is full of corrupted files for some reason. I’m avoiding my 360 and my TiVo just in case there is some sort of electronics curse on me. Whoever you are… Knock it off.

I’m watching Tony Rome as I write this. This has got to be the best movie ever. I’m not quite sure what’s going on as I was lettering the strip at the time as well, but Ol’ Blue Eyes is positively the shiznite. The movie starts with a butt shot and ends with one, too; the theme song is awesome; and it has lines like this one: “Somebody’ll squeeze somethin’ out of Tony the day Georgia elects a colored governor.” How can you resist?

Anyway, all this adds up to me being tired as hell. I have work tomorry, too, so I needs me some sleep.

-Arlo

P.S. Troll sent me here. Take the time to read it and you may have a whole new respect for the humor.

Alright, You Can Have the Stupid Princess! So let me ask you...

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Alright, You Can Have the Stupid Princess!

So let me ask you gung-ho nympho Nintendo fans something. Do you feel deprived? First it was Metroid Prime: Hunters, and now Twilight Princess. Instead you get twilight nothin’. Starcraft: Ghost anyone?

When I should have been working on the comic, the girl in me beat me into submission and forced me to play with virtual paper dolls.

As you can see, I decided to make little Race and Arlo. See, here’s Race in front of some Korean person’s house or something. She’s so hot, monkeys can’t help but hump her arm. Picking out her clothes was pretty much like me shopping in real life. Many times I find myself saying, “Christ, can I get some normal jeans please? No, I don’t want sparkles, rhinestones, acid wash, or that Bohemian ‘I’ve just rolled around in the dirt’ look.” I couldn’t find a hoodie similar enough, so I just picked out this shirt; it looks reasonably Race-ish.

Here’s Arlo, on the stage of American Idol, pimping it up with his classic style and his army of singing penguins. I couldn’t find the perfect hairstyle, but this made do. By the way, it’s really hard not to make a boy doll look flamingly gay. There were guy styles who carried, in essential, oversized woman purses…and I guess messenger bags are the boy equivalent of purses, I dunno. Who knows? Maybe it’ll encourage boys to accessorize. Oh you Koreans, you’re so cute and silly!

At least, I deduce it’s a Korean site because of all the Korean text and flag symbols (South Korea) on many of the selectable items. I don’t know if it’s because Koreans themselves are generally light-skinned, or if they have a certain ideal, or if they just haven’t gotten around to it, but the site is also very pigment-challenged. That is why Race is White…because I had no choice. =P This is a direct quote from the site:

(quote)
Are there any Candybar black dolls?
No, there are no ORIGINAL black candybar doll images
(/quote)

Oh, snap! Apparently being ethnic doesn’t make you OG. Boycott Koreas now! All both of them!

~Race

P.S. I apologize for the lack of video game related material in today’s post. I’ll try to be a good girl next time.

Harry Potter and His Fist Full of Money We’re not making fun of...

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Harry Potter and His Fist Full of Money

We’re not making fun of Harry Potter. No, really. Race and I could talk about that with you for days. So, yes, we are dorks for Harry Potter. I feel like yelling at people talking about the book in lines at the store that just don’t get it. “Snape is a bastard!” they may cry. Oh, sweet, sweet, imbecile. Go ahead. Live in your fantasy world. I bet it’s nice. Are there unicorns?

Also, this strip is the first appearance of The Troll. He’ll be back. Oh, yes. He’ll be back. So far, all of the people characters in the strip have been real people, I think. When I typed that last sentence, I wrote “teh strip.” Troll would be proud; Race would kill me in my sleep with her pinkie toe. So I fixed it and decided to talk about it instead. I get to keep it in but avoid the wrath of the tiny toe. I’m clever like that. This characterization is spot on, by the way. Like, dead on. I laugh “extra much” everytime I look at this strip. Thank you, Race.

I created a character for Fight Night Round 3 a couple of days ago and have been really enjoying myself. I don’t like boxing games. Sports games in general I tend to regard in a “I wonder what that’s like – oh, that’s what it’s like – okay, I’m done” kind of manner, but this game really draws you in. I KOed Oscar DeLaHoya in the first round without it being on easy mode. Occasionally in a genre that is completely foreign to you, some accomplishments reverberate even still. The icing on the cake was when the career mode pitted me against myself. Totally true. Why they would dig into the created boxer stable for career mode and not do a check for that sort of thing is beyond me. Needless to say, I kicked my ass. I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing.

Oh, yeah. I thought I’d point out that it took us one month and four days from our offical launch to hit 1,000 visits. One week later and we topped 3,000. We’re just good like that. Let’s see if we can hit 1,000 in a day. The challenge begins. Go tell your friends that we called them a bitch by name on our site.

And their mother, too.

-Arlo

Animal Sidekick Tryouts: Part 3 Don’t lie. You saw it coming....

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Animal Sidekick Tryouts: Part 3

Don’t lie. You saw it coming. Well, boy, am I glad that story arch is over. What? Over? Well, maybe. For now, at least. Go over to the forums and you’ll see a thread here where you can throw in your ideas for a Level 99 sidekick. If we had lawyers, they’d probably be telling you that you forfeit any ideas as legally your own when you post them on a public forum. Eh. Oh, well. If you post a good idea, maybe we’ll just steal it and delete your post.

So, after a good long while without being able to update my iPod Mini, a bright light may be emerging. My hard drive fried quite some time ago; my main drive is now one of the PS2 hard drives that Troll was messing with to see if he could format it for PC use (which he did, with ease)… I was there going, “Hey. That’s bigger than the 10 gig I have in there now. Gimmee.” And, since the drive was technically mine, I snatched and ran. Well, since the iPod has no upload capability (to thwart evil doers… pshaw) and will wipe every file on itself that it doesn’t find on the computer that it in linked to (pshaw), I was left with months of the same old on my portable gramophone. It seemed like such a hassle to rediscover all of the music I had lost (especially since some of it was hard to find comedy tracks), but I considered it a forced spring cleaning – my chance to get rid of all the crap on my pod. If it wasn’t worth finding again, then I didn’t really want it. Well, of course that’s bullcrap, so I went looking for a file that Race had suggested: Senuti (that’s iTunes backwards, kiddies). Senuti lets you move files back and forth from iPod to iTunes…. But it’s only available for Mac. Shit. I found another program listed here that seemed to do the same thing for PC…. But it costs money. Double Shit. Theres another program that loads directly onto your iPod that will let you interface with any computer you hook it up to (COOL! Found here)…. But my iPod is full and the only way to make room for it would be to calibrate it with my new hard drive which would wipe the music on the iPod anyway. Triple Shit. So I went back to the pay program to see if there was some way to test it for free and found out that you didn’t have to pay at all (COOL! Found here)… but now I can’t find my iPod’s USB cable. Quadruple Shit. So apparently, that bright light I was talking about was emerging from an asshole.

-Arlo

P.S.This post took me so long to write, not because of it’s length, but because I tried listening to the Metal Gear Saga DVD that comes with the reservation of Subsistence while at the same time working on this piece and failed miserably.

P.P.S. Wrestling News!